You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
