You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize