Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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