You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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