Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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