At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize