I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
