you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize