maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
