kristin has been a bad kristin
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize