watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
