You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
