i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I love you.
Bad choice
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
