I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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