Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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