At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
