you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
