we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
