I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it's great music for shaving your balls
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
