Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
