i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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