Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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