I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
