how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
