I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
