I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
