I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
