dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
