he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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