I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
