i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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