I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you would pick up someone in the library
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
