I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
