I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
