Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
