Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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