Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
