I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
