i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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