Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My ass is underappreciated
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
