We're facebook friends in real life
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
