She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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