I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize