I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
