Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
high people should be assigned attendants
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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