the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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