Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
