Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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