Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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