She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My bed smells like the plague
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
