glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Randomize
