So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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