Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
