it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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