made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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