You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
