i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
