Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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