yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
