You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
