Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
