my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
