you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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