just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
