Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
