if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
