get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
