I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
