Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just cropdusted the office
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
