the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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