I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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