why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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